Pairs

I'm going to vent a little bit about something that I've been noticing a lot recently.
It's going to be a very whiney, pathetic blog consisting of first world problems, so if you're not really in the mood for that, then this is your final warning: close this window now.

If you're still here, you're either really sadistic, or just as lonely as I am.

Lately in my life, I can't help but notice how everyone is pairing up, and relationships are just becoming so common place that it's almost deemed weird to be single.
And especially weird to enjoy being single.

In every movie, book, social situation, there always seems to be the ostracism or 'othering' of the single person.

And the happy ending, the resolution to all the fucked up shit that happens, etc., is when they meet the love their life and everything is dandy forever and ever.

Peachy. Fucking. Keen.

But it's not like that.

You know it, I know it, love doesn't always come along and smack you in the face, saying "Cheer up buddy, I'm here to save the day!"
Sure, sometimes it does sneak up on you unexpectedly, but for me that usually ends up with me being bowled over and flattened, my feelings and organs being smushed into the ground, like a slightly less agile cousin of Indiana Jones who just couldn't keep ahead of those giant rolling boulders.

I had something pretty good going on towards the end of last year.
But I had to give it up, involuntarily, and I was left without the raging range of motions that I usually go through when I'm getting over someone (if you've ever heard my music, you'd know I'm really just a bitter old bitch).
I guess you could say I was still in a phase, and I power dated (yet I use the term 'date' loosely) through a bunch of guys. None of them really held my interest for long, and the couple that did either didn't reciprocate it, or just fooled around with me and fucked me over (big surprise, I know!).

I've always been an advocate of the "Love finds you as soon as you stop looking for it" theory, so I acknowledge that it would be nice to find a great guy and be in a wholesome relationship, but I try not to let it bother me that I haven't and that I'm not.

So I just try to put it out of my mind.
"Don't think about it, when you stop thinking about it, you just open yourself up more to the possibilities of meeting someone."

And yes, I would totally do that... if I wasn't constantly reminded of these romances and relationships in nearly every single waking minute of every day of my life.

All around me I see couples; old, young, recent, passing their golden anniversary - and everyone just looks so damn happy.

Which is fine - I am absolutely happy for them.

But it kinda puts a burden/air of retardation on a guy like me who's longest relationship has been the better part of two months.

I'm at the point where I want to stop thinking about it, I want to get on with my life as a single person, and start enjoying it. I used to love being single! The freedom, the fun, the independence!

But such is the saturation that I can't not think about it.

It makes me think about the gay rights movement, and all the rights of relationship recognition that we fight for, and at the end of it, everyone seems to go, "Well, we've almost got gay marriage legalised - now I just need to find a man to marry!"

I'm well aware the the principle of gay marriage is about ending legislative discrimination and stopping homosexuals from being classed and second class citizens, regardless of whether you want to get married or not.

But when it is legalised, well... I won't be off the hook of the expectations that most parents (and most of society, at that) have, of their kids growing up, getting married, settling down and giving them grandkids.

Which is all well and good. I honestly have nothing against that.
I just wish I had something else to take my mind off it.

"I'm gonna ask you to stop,

thought I liked you a lot but I'm really upset

so get out of my head,

get off of my bed, yeah that's what I said" - Avril Lavigne, Don't Tell Me