Justice

I don't know if anyone would ever describe me as a 'friendly' person.

At my best, I can be a bit of a socialite, making small talk with lots of people and getting to know everyone. Networking; getting contacts; whatever you want to call it.

Yet in my darker moments I can also be quite the introvert, and would be happier alone in the corner with my headphones in my ears.

First impressions can be pretty misleading with people like me, because until you actually get to know me, you wouldn't really know the full extent of my personality.

Recently back at university, political philosophy has been wreaking havoc on my mind and my conscience.

I used to think that I was a person who believed in justice; that all men got what was coming to them. In my eyes, karma was an all-powerful, omnipresent vehicle of justice.

But lately I've come to realise that perhaps 'justice' isn't quite as synonymous with 'retribution' or 'revenge' as I would have liked to believe.

Is handing out punishment to ones enemies really the definition of a 'just' man?

Maybe the vengeful streak I possess in the name of love and honesty isn't as justified as I previously thought, if it involves hurting someone else, no matter how deserving of their punishment I might consider them.

It's also rather conflicting with my religious views and the Wiccan Rede; is there really any situation where causing harm is justified?

These questions of justice and the ethics of revenge were spawned from an earlier question I asked myself: am I really a nice, or 'friendly', person?

Like anyone, I have my own idiosyncratic personality flaws, but for the most part I have a strong moral fibre, and I tend to treat others how I'd like to be treated (there are notable exceptions to this rule but by my standards I consider them justified).

Even if I don't particularly warm to someone, I try to treat them with due human civility, even if it's a little on the cold side.

What scares me is that once upon a time, the non-reciprocation of these actions would have bothered me.

These days, I'm just too tired to care.

Maybe 'friends' are over-rated, or maybe I've just always had a skewed definition of the word.

Sooner or later, people who don't want to be in your life will leave; kicking and screaming, or silently slinking off into the darkness.

Either way, take some solace in that you'll never go unnoticed.

"There's a danger in starting a fire; you'll never how many bridges you'll burn" - A Day To Remember

Change

This life is full of changes. Some of them good, some of them bad, most of them inevitable.

They say that the first year after high school is one of them most exciting, unpredictable, turmoil filled times of your life.

And they're weren't wrong.

Most high school sweethearts break up within that first year. Hell, my Summer fling couldn't even survive the transition to university.

No matter how you loved all your friends at school, you'll never see them as frequently as you used to, and the relationships suffer. In this day and age, there are dozens of 'I haven't seen you in ages, let's catch up!' Facebook comments, but they're hardly ever acted upon.

It's the sad truth that people just grow apart: both emotionally and physically. By the end of this week, the two people I consider my best friends will be living on other continents.

It's due to circumstances beyond their control, and I don't doubt that the strength of our friendship will remain intact even over thousands of miles and several time zones.

But it's a reality that I have to face: my life will go on without them.

I've fallen in love, and I've had my heart broken.

I've soared to brand new heights, and I've sunk to all time lows.

But I've picked myself up off the floor each and every time.

I don't want to take any of these changes for granted, because as terrifying as they are, there's nothing more a fear more than a life of stagnancy and discontent.

I've met some incredible people and done some crazy things, and who knows what the future has in store?

Maybe one day we'll all meet up, and it will be like nothing has changed at all.

Maybe we won't even recognise each other when we walk past each other on the street.

I honestly can't say I hope for either scenario.

I don't want to cling to the past because I'm scared of the future, but I don't want to create a whole new life where my past never mattered at all.

One thing I know for sure is that broken hearts don't last forever.

And I think I'm ready to love again.

But I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

"when all you wanted was to be wanted,

wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now" - Taylor Swift

Laughter

Today on my commute home, several things happened:

- A man stood up on the train, and hit his head an the slanting roof. I was unable to repress my snorts of laughter.

- As I was walking up the stairs at the station, which were crowded with passengers getting off, a man was pushing his way through the people, angrily abusing everyone for being in the way and causing him to miss his train. Such colourful language among a sea of boring suits inspired me to giggle just a little.

- Crossing the road, I saw a boy drop his chewing gum in the bin, and turn around and walk promptly into a telegraph pole. He wasn't too hurt, but when he saw that I'd seen, he gave a sheepish, embarrassed smile and hurried away. I actually laughed out loud.

While this might seem like I'm being a horrible person, laughing at everyone else's misfortune. But the more I thought about it, I felt noticeably happier after witnessing these small calamities.

Sure, those people weren't having a great day, but for once I felt like I was thoroughly enjoying my train trip home.

And it got me thinking: is there really anything wrong with finding amusement in other people's minor misfortunes or accidents?

[I say minor, because there are obviously some large scale tragedies that shouldn't be funny on any level.]

There is an entire TV show dedicated to video clips if people doing stupid things and getting themselves hurt.

And the intention of that TV show is to make people laugh!

The lesson I've learnt, and the message I'm trying to get across here, is that no matter how shitty a day you might be having, your miserable experiences might be giving someone else a little bit of joy.

It may be at your personal expense, but you're giving back to the world, in a sense, aren't you?

I'm sure one day you'll laugh at someone else tripping over on the footpath, or running like a spastic to catch a bus that they've obviously already missed.

There, on that day, you will feel a little happier.

And so the karmic cycle continues.