I hate the question, 'What do you see in him, anyway?'
I mean it in the most obvious context.
You're head over heels for someone, or at the very least have a little bit of a crush, but the other person you're talking to - your best friend, your therapist, your mother - simply doesn't understand.
They don't see the attraction, or maybe they can't see you working together, or maybe they just thought they had you figured out, and knew your "type", and you're just throwing a spanner in the gears.
Sometimes I think I have a type - I feel like I go for the bad boys who eventually screw me over, because I get bored with the "nice guys".
Yes, I'm one of those people.
But other times it's not that simple.
So some people have check lists; ideal qualities they'd want in a lover.
It can be material things - body shape or size, approximate salary and career/lifestyle, age range.
It can be more personal things - vital common interests, attitudes about certain issues, etc.
You know what I mean; the recipe for concocting the "perfect man".
So people ask you what you see in him - as though, slowly but surely, you could sift through man himself, cast aside the pulp, boy-bits and semen, and look at your near complete checklist of things that you find attractive in a partner.
Why does it have to be like that?
Why treat love like a logical, rational procedure of selecting the most suitable candidate?
Maybe I'm a little jaded because most of my friends have told me that every single one of my boyfriends have never been completely right for me, and time after time, my friends have always proved to be right.
But it's because I don't see anything in them. I just see them.
Those feelings that make someone so appealing, but you can't for the life of you explain why.
When other people see you together and think you're both completely crazy, yet when you're with them everything just feels to insanely good.
Where you can pick just as many things that you hate about that person as you can things that you love about them, yet they don't appear to you as a process of elimination, a competition of pros and cons or a seemingly boyfriend of best value.
You don't want any particular thing about them - you just want them.
I didn't see anything in him.
I just saw him. I just wanted him.
Whether I get him or whether I don't, whether I'll keep him or whether I won't - it's all pretty arbitrary anyway because there's really no way to control it.
All I know is that love isn't logical.
So don't ask me what I want, and for the love of God, please don't ask me 'why?'
'you're the finest thing that I've done
the hurricane I'll never outrun
I could wait around for the dust to still
but I don't believe that it ever will' - The Hush Sound
