As a collective, I think we're afraid of the truth.
There's something about total honesty that just seems so brutal that to most people it's unbearable.
How many times have you ever caught yourself saying: "I'd rather not know" ?
So many of us choose to live in ignorance, due to the presupposition that it equals bliss.
But how can you happily live in a world knowing that what you know isn't really knowledge; that it's just a lie, a big fucking fake?
Worse than the people who wilfully accept falsity over truth, are the people who consciously project these lies from their very person.
We all have a self-conception that we unsuccessfully fill, but most of us try to, to an extent, 'be ourselves'.
But I've had the misfortune of knowing quite a few people who actively lie and cheat as though it were normal.
I've come to the conclusion that my subconscious is punishing me by making me attracted to men who are complete and utter, for want of a better word, douche bags.
They are scum. They seem to be genuine people, and they're only doing whatever they're doing for their own enjoyment. You're just a plaything in their mind games.
I used to think I was a good judge of character.
I've since been advised by someone wiser that, in reality, you cannot judge someone's character at all. Or at least, not when you first meet.
First impression are probably the most unreliable thing to dissect in order to make judgements. That's because there are the scum that make up a majority of my dating history who can easily project onto the world what they want you to think they are, what they want the world to see.
In reality, they're just so much worse. And it all comes from the plain and simple truth that so many of us are afraid of... well, the truth.
I'll expect the best of you, but it's so hard" - A Day To Remember
Scum or not, though, the sum experience of your life...you're lifeview, for want of a better word, is made up of these people. Often, one must realise that the truth is inconvenient (and i'm not quoting the move) to one's own personal views of oneself. rarely does one come across someone who is as centured and self-aware as you robert. often, these lies people use day-t-o-day are useful in allowing them to feel good abut themselves, but as i think you would recognize, one these lies are found out, often WE feel disappointed. Becasue where we have been honest, accepting and VULNERABLE, they have been building walls.
ReplyDeleteI think it depends entirely upon the person of whom is judging character whether or not a first impression can be 100% accurate...there are ways to train ourselves to cut through the bullshit, although i rarely go for gold with a first impression. these lies which surround us are necessary for those weaving them, becasue they prevent others from highlighting the faults and unfortunate chracteristics of us. That being said, it is moving past these that makes a person impressive. Self-actualisation, which i'm sure you remember from psychology at uni, is the height of maslows hierarchy.
But you know what they say: you cannot change others, but only yourself. Other people's lies don't matter, but only the ones we ourselves make. and if we cannot justify the reason for making them, then we shall feel secure in our honesty :)
--Alex (Shakira's ;) friend)
some good articles here:
ReplyDeletehttp://thegaylovecoach.com/
I've been studying that damn hierarchy since HSC English/Business studies. There is literally no escape.
ReplyDeleteBut you do make a valid point.
Though I in no way pretend that I am totally self-actualized and have a definite goal or purpose that I'm set on.
I'm just not afraid to say, "Yeah, I have absolutely no idea where I'm going. But that's okay with me."