Kiss

When you think about it, kissing is a really weird thing.

We get taught as children to not share our food and drinks, for fear of sharing saliva and eventually contracting some kind of disease. We learn about germs, and in most cases it even goes as far as cooties, or 'boy germs' and 'girl germs', and we're very aware of who and what we are touching, and putting in and around our mouths.

Fast forward to junior high school and its a whole different ball game. We learn the biology about food and germs, and know to not put our lips on someone else's water bottle (or just be really good friends enough to know they're not going to give you anything). We also realise that cookies was just a myth, some lie our parents probably told us to stop us from growing up too quickly.

On a side note, I think parents of the youngest generation are not trying hard enough to enforce this myth. Kids are way too slutty these days.

But pressing on, we realise that putting things in and around our mouths can actually be pretty fun. Most notably, other peoples mouths. The first kiss is something that is highly romanticised by almost every teenage movie. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, because I'll be the first to admit I enjoy a good snog. Psychological studies have shown that kissing is one of the few universal behaviours that transcend cultural differences. Sucking face with someone is, for all intents and purposes, completely natural. Whether or not your first kiss needs to be a memorable milestone is debatable, but it emphasises the frequent occurrence, as well as the perceived importance, of kissing.

This is all well and good, but as humans we have a knack for taking what seems to come naturally and ruining it with a complex bunch of feeling, emotions, morals and ethics.

The value placed on kissing is subjective, varying immensely between individuals. To some people it means friendship, where a kiss on the lips is just a variation of a handshake. For some people its a special action, loaded with emotional value, and wholly reserved for that special person in their lives. I guess this perspective views it as an extension, or prelude, to sex (whose societal value is a whole new can of worms I'm leaving the lid on, for now). Then there are people who enjoy kissing, but don't put a great deal of emotional energy into it. 'A kiss is just a kiss' kind of mentality, where it's a physical response to a physiological urge rather than any passionate emotion.

Which is where I'm getting at, I guess. How on earth did kissing come to have such a range of complex meanings?

Further still, what confuses me is when people seem to simultaneously use these different variations of kissing in their every day life. For example, if you're in a relationship with someone, kissing them is an obviously display of your love and affection towards them. Things like open relationships or 'hall passes', being able to kiss other people with little to no consequence... I feel that devalues whatever kind of kissing you're doing with your partner.

I'm not saying that casual hook-ups are inherently bad. Kissing a stranger when your single is a little cheeky and usually a bit of harmless fun, but when there's a third party involved, there's a mixed bag of hurt feelings and sticky jealousy that never ends well.
There's exceptions, like kisses that are controversial or well publicised in order to generate a response or garner attention, but that isn't really what I'm talking about.

Why does kissing seem to waver on the line of exclusivity in a relationship, never really choosing a side?

I've seen people shake off their partners kisses with other people as a one-off mistakes, something that's easily forgiven.
I've seen relationships shaken, even completely destroyed, by a kiss of infidelity (although the fact that they lied about it amplified the severity of the situation, something I really do agree with).

Either way, you can't claim to anyone that kissing isn't a big deal.
Regardless of it being a natural human behaviour, you wouldn't be doing it if you didn't want to.

I won't pretend there is a right or a wrong way to value your kisses.

But I do feel that in this day and age, where nothing seems sacred anymore, we should probably stop and think about these things of importance, before displays of affection really lose all meaning.

This focus on kissing mainly comes from the public nature the act can acquire. Open relationships, sex, and things like that can be a pretty private circumstance that isn't as visible as the guy with a boyfriend snogging someone else on the dance floor.

"it started out with a kiss

how did it end up like this?
it was only a kiss, it was only a kiss..." - Mr. Brightside, The Killers